The past few months have seen within me a swashbuckler. I have turned into a reckless, careless, lunatic mortal. Things go over my head, issues irk me, people rankle me, weird things fascinate me, issues of no-importance trance me. I have heard highly educated people preaching a gospel that one should do what their heart tells them to do. On a different note, what if your heart does not wish to do anything? What if your mind needs only repose? What if you propose to leave all the terrene affairs? Not so simple, though.
Few days back I told my younger sis about a weird thought of mine – a thought to leave everything and go to the Himalayas to live a life of peace and serenity. The only reply she gave me with a wary look was – “I am going to tell Mom about this.”
Then, all of a sudden I realize that a couple of years more and everything would be over. All these draggy and ho-hum engineering principles and theories would find an end leaving me in complete freedom. However, this end would mark the beginning of a yet new period – a period in which I would eventually find myself working in some crippled Chemical company surrounded by more crippled employees and lame officials. Would this be called an end or a beginning, then? I personally would call this a deadlock.
Management is the probably the only thing left which still happens to charm and captivate me, but didn’t Engineering have the same appeal in the early days when I was preparing to make it into a prestigious college? I am in no mood to answer here the hackneyed question: ”Why I eventually lost interest in Engineering?” Probably this is why I came out of a TATA Steel written test in a flash as soon as I encountered all gimpy Engineering-related questions yet again, to which I had no better option left. I even bypassed few other companies I came across. A huge transition from what I was like an year ago, when I was constantly worried about all this. Well truly said, ‘All that glitters is not Gold’.
No one can predict the future, but one can surely make it. All in all, I have started trusting my conscience. Whatever I feel like doing, I have been blindly doing it. On the contrary, whatever narks me now finds a place in the bin, no matter its worth or consequences. Moreover if the predicament within my mind continues to amplify, I might even end up being a recluse, or not?
