Time tossed around

As I begin to write this blog post after half a dozen months one thing narks me: How much life has changed since my last blog post? Much has happened, much not happened; much has changed, much not changed. I still cannot apprehend the fact of this long hiatus. However, now owing to the random thoughts consorting in my head in a haphazard way for the last six months, I wish to post them for the sake of my head.

Adieu, Junior Year: 

Broadly speaking, 3-2 is the most crucial semester in one’s entire college life, provided he is not a Dulla (Dual degree student). Managing a salubrious 8.6 in 3-1 had generated immense confidence within and motivated me to hit a 9 or even 10! Numbers below 9 or 10 seemed nothing now. However, these are the times when one should cut down his wings, and come down to earth. These are also the times when one should retrieve his strengths/weaknesses. If not, core subjects like Process Equipment Design and Industrial Instrumentation will shower you with B’s and C+’s. And, A+’s in Communication Skills would hardly offset the damage done by these High Credit Courses. Result: You end up, where you already are with hardly any rise or fall.

So ended 3-2!

Gujarat:

When you don’t expect things to happen, they happen. And, they happen to an extent that provides you with a paid Internship at world’s biggest refinery complex, Reliance Industries Limited at Jamnagar in Gujarat. Hate core chemical stuff, and Chemical will always love you! It’s like run from something and it will always follow you.

Everything remotely related to academics seem farce when you land in a state where you never had been before. The excitement and enjoyment to explore it titillates you to an extent that you forget everything. This feeling gets magnified when you start meeting new people. Then commence trips, strolls, get-togethers, fun, parties, and what-not!

All magnified feeling start to die out and diminish when you actualize that your birthday is imminent, and the group you’ve made will beat your bums down to hell. So was it on June 3! Beating was followed by a surprise party which was hardly expected from me. So, was fixed a day in my memory which would always be cherished.

As the end came near, so came the work pressure. As believed, IITians don’t give productive results until their arse is on fire. This gospel was proved right yet again. The immense pressure was handled successfully. Result: Decent presentation. Ripe report. Happy mentor. 

So ended Gujarat!


Aloha, Senior year:

And, all of a sudden you find yourself in Senior year. Everything around seems about to fly by and disappear. You realize all these things (hang-outs, random blabs, etc etc) would vanish and die out. You would go into a completely new world with memories alone. Everything else would be left behind. Result: Senti posts at hand in the days to come! 

So begins the final year!

IIT: High Hopes & Drooling Desires: Where are We?

It has been 5 odd semesters since I embarked upon a new life in this endearing insti. I had come from a classy awing Doon with High Hopes and Drooling Desires, as a naïf and squeamish boy of Seventeen. My anticipations from this place were quite idealistic, high-minded and lofty. I had entered into this place because I was one of those many few who were turned on by the catholicity of Newton’s Laws, infinitesimal calculus, lengthy organic reactions during the High school days. The idea of entering into the premier institute of the country and being taught by the holy saints (read: Profs) where learner meant ‘learner for learning’s sake’, were few aspects which gloated me. I had expected people of a similar nature to be my new classmates, neighbors, allies and acquaintances. All this meant a ‘dream come true’ to me. I was on cloud nine!

On the contrary, in all the above respects, the bygone years have been a bitter pill to swallow. This place has dejected me in a lot of ways. From the bureaucratic inactivity to the teaching methodology to the courses offered to the academic curriculum to the relative grading system to the Professors to the Placement scenario to the Companies recruiting to the constant unhygienic mess food and to what-not, everything is in deplorable condition, coming apart and going to pieces.

The best brains in the country are turning into rats and dirty dogs. People have been measured by their grades and CGPAs. A guy with lower CGPA becomes a matter of trifle importance, and the one with a higher is revered by one and all, even if the latter is a big time bozo. The system in this place is not too helpful either. We, as a nation, have always catered to the best among us. If you are a topper, you are a star, if you are not, you are a nobody. This attitude acts as a body-blow to the ego of the "average" student here, who "falls" from being the top dog in school to a nonentity in college. In this rat-race, the average Joe loses his identity and his self-pride, being reduced to being in the peloton, to be in the shadow of the high-flier.

Talking about the holy saints, what else would you call people who are phony, bogus and hypocrites? Probably, ‘Equus asinus’! No one focus or pay attention on what a student likes and what not, what is important and what not, what is recent and of prime importance and what not, how to make lectures interesting and how not. I had expected my degree to be a pursuit of more knowledge from these saints to learn for learning’s sake, and not to learn for marks, grades, CGPAs, DRs (Departmental Ranks), IRs (Institutional Ranks) and all such bummer. 

Actually, the flaw lies with the system itself. I personally feel that once the JEE results are out, the IIT Administration need to conduct an Aptitude test (to bestow an appropriate branch to a particular individual) based on which the classification need to be done and not on the basis of mere JEE ranks. Moreover, as far as the pedagogy goes, I sincerely hold the notion that these big time holy saints need to seriously brush up their own concepts before taking up any class/lecture and simultaneously also refer to the videos of their counterparts far away in MITs, Stanford, et al. Moreover, they should focalize on something recent, practical and productive (not outdated theories and laws).

Else (as already seen), it would hardly take any time for this large brain-chunk to stop caring for anything remotely academic and resorting to other career options or draining their brains with a meaningless Er.(Engineer) before their names as a refuge to some distant land far far away ...  (Talk about brain drain then?)

The night it was ..

The auspicious day, 1/1/11 was being greeted both warmly and coldly, until a loud scream of 'Do ya thang song' by T.I (which happens to be my current ringing tone) almost blew out of the water … and woke me up!

Yes, as expected 2010 was bid adieu at 23:59 hours in sopor. So was the advent of 2011 greeted at 00:00 hours beneath a warm quilt with Coldplay songs in background (which I realized once I woke up. The songs kept on playing with the repeat mode on).

Almost an hour past midnight when the T.I song (hinting a phone call) made me alive, I idly crawled my hand out of the immense warmheartedness of the quilt to reach for the phone. Laziness proved fatal, and as soon  as I picked it up, it got disconnected within fraction of a second. My eyes were wide open when the phone flashed 22 missed calls, and 24 unread messages. I was realizing what being a jackass is, until I planned to offset it. I decided to call back people and message everyone whom I missed wishing new year.

Hardly had I made up for my mistake when I realized who actually a jackass is. As I decided to call back, the phone averred – “You are currently out of balance. You have zero rupees, forty eight paisa left in your account. Dial one for balance account, two for refill, three for speaking to an ….”, to which I abused, disconnected and bedeviled my phone. I waited in anticipation for some more calls, but in vain. Who wishes people after 01:00 am, anyway? Still, I managed to find a couple of them online on facebook. Still lot more expected me! 

P.S: I finally did offset my blunder the next day (i.e today), when I actually called Home and everywhere else, to which I got alike greetings – “Hey, where were you last night?” Well, partying - coldly and warmly! Does that actually mean anything, anyway? 

P.P.S: For those (if anyone reading) who expected much more than what eventually (read: lame) the post turned out to be, I apologize for it. The title aptly matches with the post, and the bummer I was in  the previous night. I know: "Crap, Holy crap" is what this turned out to be. Life is not fair, always. 'Happy New Year!'  

P.P.P.S: To those who want to offset the effects of this dull crappy post, here's an interesting fact :157+163+167+173+179+181+191+193+197+ 199 +211=2011. 2011 is the first prime number which can b written as a sum of eleven consecutive prime numbers.

Culmination of 3-1

The semester kicked off on a high note with loads of vows, pledges and resolutions, but on the contrary ended on a low with loads of prayers, expectations, grades, marks, but all in complete vain. As they put it, as you sow so shall you reap!

In an IIT, after getting decent marks in TS-1 and screwing badly TS-2, your arse is all set on fire for the end terms. Do it now, do it straight off, else the insti has no regrets in giving you panji's (5 on a scale of 10). So was this arse of mine. Eventually, the gaps in between the exams proved to be crucial and everything went alright.

The subjects I didn’t get a feel and flavor of resulted in very dismal performances, though.  Grade B or may be even lower is already expected in one of ChemD’s core subject, CH-305: Reaction Engineering. Moreover, my face has a smug gleam of felicitation after acing the subjects I loved the most. IHS03: Group Dynamics was one of them.

However, well, there’s no time and scope for the feel thing when you are in an IIT. Do whatever the system demands, else the system comes back at you and leave you in shatters. So, it is better if you go along with the flow without giving a thought about what-you-like and what-you-don’t-like. Perhaps, the only way to be a successful fucked-up Engineer. Trust me!

Losing grip

The past few months have seen within me a swashbuckler. I have turned into a reckless, careless, lunatic mortal. Things go over my head, issues irk me, people rankle me, weird things fascinate me, issues of no-importance trance me. I have heard highly educated people preaching a gospel that one should do what their heart tells them to do. On a different note, what if your heart does not wish to do anything? What if your mind needs only repose? What if you propose to leave all the terrene affairs? Not so simple, though. 

Few days back I told my younger sis about a weird thought of mine – a thought to leave everything and go to the Himalayas to live a life of peace and serenity. The only reply she gave me with a wary look was – “I am going to tell Mom about this.”

Then, all of a sudden I realize that a couple of years more and everything would be over. All these draggy and ho-hum engineering principles and theories would find an end leaving me in complete freedom. However, this end would mark the beginning of a yet new period – a period in which I would eventually find myself working in some crippled Chemical company surrounded by more crippled employees and lame officials. Would this be called an end or a beginning, then? I personally would call this a deadlock.

Management is the probably the only thing left which still happens to charm and captivate me, but didn’t Engineering have the same appeal in the early days when I was preparing to make it into a prestigious college? I am in no mood to answer here the hackneyed question: ”Why I eventually lost interest in Engineering?” Probably this is why I came out of a TATA Steel written test in a flash as soon as I encountered all gimpy Engineering-related questions yet again, to which I had no better option left. I even bypassed few other companies I came across. A huge transition from what I was like an year ago, when I was constantly worried about all this. Well truly said, ‘All that glitters is not Gold’.

No one can predict the future, but one can surely make it. All in all, I have started trusting my conscience. Whatever I feel like doing, I have been blindly doing it. On the contrary, whatever narks me now finds a place in the bin, no matter its worth or consequences. Moreover if the predicament within my mind continues to amplify, I might even end up being a recluse, or not?

Campus at the break of day

Once in a college, few things become almost impossible – Beholding the break of day is one of it. Sleeping at awkward times makes waking up on time an almost unmanageable task.

The clock ticked 05:00 a.m.!

After a long stay at Cautley talking mundane affairs with friends, I was on my way to Jawahar late night (or early morning?) taking the path less traversed. I wanted to take the shortcut but with the number of dogs increasing exponentially in the campus, I avoided it and resorted to the Cautley-AHEC-Library-Alps-Slope-Jawahar pathway, which was a little more time consuming. However, taking this pathway was the best way to lessen my probability of being bitten by any of the dog/bitch.

While sauntering through that path I had a picturesque depiction of everything around. I had walked through that path innumerable times but this time with no one around, everything looked very wondrous.

Being deprived of sleep, my eyes were getting heavy. However, the air seemed to be freshly, bracing and invigorate enough to keep me awake. A bunch of crowd, esp. The Professors and their families, was already astir, and was enjoying the morning walk. I could hardly find even a single student around. I even happened to confront a Professor with his wife, who passed on giving me a strange look. The street lights were suddenly turned off. The diurnal beings then seemed to be back into business.

The trees around looked magnificent. The leaves didn’t seem to abandon the trees yet, although the vibrancy of its contours seemed to fade slightly. Ladies jogging, cool breeze hushing, dogs defecating, birds chirping, night watchmen preparing for a changeover, Department fully mute and obtuse- all in the presence of a weak sunlight, while the sun itself below the horizon presented Nature at its best.

Appalled at the beauty of it all, I decided to sit down along the library stairs to just stare and gaze at it all. Everything looked fresh, crisp, dewy, innocent, peaceful and newfangled. The Nature appeared to move around, while I being stationary, the rest of the world appeared to continue ahead. It left me in a peaceful moment and longing for more, until I realized that I had a class at 9. 

QOTD (Quote of the Day): ''Lose an hour in the morning, and you will be all day hunting for it''. 

The rock-ribbed 'Red' in me.

Way back in 2002, nothing about the footballing world interested me. I was happy in my own world playing cricket, video games, collecting GI Joe’s and going to school. Even the 2002 Football World Cup which I  followed was because everyone at school was watching and talking about it. As most of my friends and relatives were talking about a nicely-rhymed 'Ronaldo-Rivaldo-Ronaldinho' trio of Brazil, I started supporting Brazil as I loved the rhyming scheme in the above deuce-ace, with no genuine mania for anyone from within. Slowly and steadily I developed a mild interest in the game with Brazil going all the way to life the trophy, and Ronaldo winning the ‘Golden Ball’.

That year I looked forward to the much talked about English Premier League (Courtesy: ESPN-Star Sports news-cum-talk shows). Initially, the League went completely over my head. With so many players playing for so many uncannily-named teams, I was completely jolted. Yet, I ended up learning the names of few English players and for the clubs they played. I very soon realized that England is the team to watch out for! I developed an intense charm for England- its players and their hot and sizzling wags. I also learnt a lot about Liverpool Football Club (LFC), where two of my favorite players (Steven Gerrard and Michael Owen) played. Then came Euros in 2004, the time when I was aware of a handful of players from the EPL (mostly English players). Consequently, I supported England with more passion this time but unluckily England was eliminated by Portugal in the quarter-finals in the penalties, but the heroics of Gerrard made me in complete awe of him!  I started admiring and following him with a lot of vigor, passion and dynamism. Later, during the EPL when I saw Gerrard playing for LFC, everything just clicked. I did not wake up one morning and say “I am going to support Liverpool today”, it was something that grew with me, it is more like a calling than anything. 

Being a Red unremittingly doesn’t make me have an aversion for other clubs and for those who support other clubs. I respect a lot of players who actually don’t play for LFC. I love the Football game in its pure form, and the players who play it so. Still, Liverpool is the club I have found an intense attachment for, and England is the country I can never stop supporting.  I have a 'little dream' of going to Anfield some day watching the Reds play and I, completely clad-in-Red with  a scarf on my shoulder reading, “You’ll never walk alone!”, dancing and singing to the tunes of the anthem! I’ll end on a high with the famous quote by former Liverpool Manager, Bill Shankley: ”Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, its much more serious than that.”